Journey

This post was originally written in July

Wow, it has been a while since I posted on this blog. I remember starting this blog when I was like 8 weeks pregnant with John Ross!!! I was so excited to have a blog to post precious pictures of my little boy and all (and I mean all) his discoveries! I have been so touched lately following a blog of a friend who just got back from China with her new little girl. After having four biological children (I babysit two of them!) they adopted their fifth child! It was a beautiful journey to read about. It made me feel a part of it and reminded me of just how amazing and glorious our Lord is! And it inspired me to blog again!
 It was like five minutes ago just recently that I realized that I am on a journey also. The journey of growing my family. It happened so quickly with John Ross that I never thought having a baby would become such a journey! I never expected to be on this journey, actually still can't believe it. And I NEVER thought I would be one to share this journey with others and be open about it. But here I am typing. If there is one thing I have learned from The Bachelorette, its that you need to put yourself out there! In all seriousness, the Lord as brought me to a place that I want to be real and open, with myself, with Him, and with others. I want to write this blog because I have been saying to myself for days that I need to start a journal. I know I will love to read my thoughts from during this time. God seems to be speaking so much and sometimes so clearly! As hard as this has been, I have already been blessed by this journey.
We know that our family with be more than three people. Really it already is because Lee and I both have so much love for another child that doesn't even exist yet. We know we will give John Ross a sibling. He is only three but he has the most sweet and amazing little spirt. He really needs a partner or two in crime! ~We also KNOW that God is in control and we are thankful for that. This is where He has us right now and we will be here and wait for his direction.
I don't really know how long this journey has been so far. We've always known we wanted more that one child. There was always that "plan" for our family of four or five. Then there is the how long we were not preventing pregnancy everytime. Then there is the two months of trying. Then there is the months of charting and OPKs and praying. Then there is the doctor visits, waiting rooms, and hormones. so that's where we are. We decided at the beginning of this that we wouldn't go very far into fertility medicines. We would rather put that money into adoption rather than into a procedure that may not work. As we get closer to that next step, it scares me. As much as I HaTed being sick and nauseous and pregnant, there is something magical about it. And birth...that is just awesome! But again...I am brought back to the realization that I really did nothing in the creation of John Ross. That is all God! so I don't know how often I would post about this. I don't even know if I will publish this post? Def, not until I sleep on it. i will go to sleep remebering the sweet words of a song that my good friend Jody pointed me to: