The Great Physician

Counselor; Comforter; Baptizer; Advocate; Strengthener; Sanctifier; Spirit of Christ; Helper. These words describe the Holy spirit, which Jesus sent to earth when he died on the cross and rose three days later. (by the way...I'm reading a new book: The Forgotten God by Francis Chan!)  Jesus even said  "But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you. And He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment" (John 16:7-8). As Chan puts it, Jesus tells us it is actually better to have the Holy Spirit with us than when Jesus himself was walking with people on earth!


all that to say where I am. I started getting on google to figure out what is going on with me and my body. I don't reccommend it! I found all these things that I could have and started self-diagnosing myself! So I made an appointment with a fertility specialist. An experience I never thought I would have! Especially with a three year old on my lap! Well, she started talking procedures, IUI, IVF...and I left very overwhelmed. After a couple of emotional days, I started feeling an urgency to be content with what I have. A husband and an amazing son. I realized that maybe through these months of trying and wishing and praying to have a baby, maybe there were some things I hadn't given all my focus to. aka, not just having a husband, but having a healthy and good marriage, and being the best mom I can be to John Rossy!

I started realizing that there is no rush. I mean it was good to rule out all those syndromes and disorders that I was sure I would be diagnosed with! And I know that there may be some medical things that I need to do to make sure there isn't anything that needs my attention. But, I feel I need to truly trust the great physician. He made me and I trust that He has a plan for me and my family. I need to act or rather not act on that faith. I need to do what I know. Be healthy, physically and spiritually; focus on being a mom to my miracle, and be present in my marriage!
I know that this post is totally scattered. I wish it weren't.  I really do feel contentment in this space. I know this peace and contentment comes from the Holy Spirit. I am excited about acknowledging and inviting the Holy Spirit more into my life.

So, as this week is a week of Thanksgiving...I have plenty to be thankful for. I want to focus on these things. I am even thankful for this struggle. It gives me a new voice. I voice I never thought I would have. But really we all have this voice. A voice of being human. A voice of having emptiness that we are trying to fill. A voice of realizing the blessings that we have been given.